Dear Wedding Planner,
My fiance and I are having a hard time deciding what type of wedding we want next year. I am a more traditional bride; I want the church wedding, white dress, large bridal party, lots of guests and everything that goes with a traditional wedding. My fiance wants a more modern wedding; nothing would make him happier than to head off to Vegas or go to an island with our best friends and have a romantic, spontaneous wedding. How do we compromise so that we both get the wedding of our dreams?
Sincerely, Brooke – Ithaca NY
Your problem is not a unique one! What is marriage, if not a compromise between two people? Where are we going to live? Who is selling their house or moving out of their apartment? This is just the first of many, many compromises you will have to make. Now, this doesn’t mean that each of you can’t have what you want, you just need a little creativity in making it happen!
Scenario #1: Have Two Great Weddings! If your budget allows, many couples will whisk away to their destination wedding location with close friends or parents and have the spur of the moment wedding. Then they will go back to their hometown and have the traditional wedding with their friends and family. Another way is to have a large reception complete with the dress and all the trimmings. It’s a way for everyone you know and love to come and celebrate your union but the “ceremony” part is over with. This may not be an affordable option for all couples, but think about it … who wouldn’t love to have TWO weddings? It means two dresses for you and two great parties!
Senario #2: Bring the Best of Two Worlds into One Party! So, he wants to get married on a beach and you want to be in a church. Or he wants the big lights of Las Vegas and the only ringing bells you want to hear are from the glasses your guests are banging at your reception. So bring the beach or Vegas into your reception! Themed receptions can be lots of fun to plan and attend. Have your dream church wedding and when you and your guests arrive at the reception have it be transformed into a a beach front or Las Vegas Casino! Incorporate favors that work with your theme and bring the illusion of a destination wedding to your home.
I would advise that you both sit down and really talk about your wedding plans and find out the reasoning behind each of your requests. Maybe he doesn’t know that your parents were married in the church you want to be married in, and how important that is to you. Maybe he thinks it’s romantic to whisk you away to get married under a setting sun on a beach and doesn’t feel the need to profess his love for you in front of 200 strangers! Talk it out and once you find the reasoning behind what both of you want and you will find the solution … together!
The Wedding Planner, Kerri Green